Half-baked Eye

I had a plan for yesterday – go to school, get done with the last meeting for work, pick a quiet room, and sketch. I wanted to learn sketching skin with wrinkles and all that. But I got some work for the rest of the day in the meeting. I still had an hour with me though, and I started sketching in a room. When things don’t go as planned, they just don’t go as planned. Here is a really half-baked effort


A pesky guy I know was in the same room, but I noticed him only later. He has been trying to act sweet and make amends for being a little irresponsible in the past. I talked to him for a bit and turns out he loves drawing too. So he asked me to show my drawing, if I had any. Now I got all excited like an idiot, because he said some things about drawing that were smart. Too smart for someone like him. But I anyway showed some of my sketches. When I showed the tear drop one he started acting all smart. He said with an almost puppy voice – why are you crying. It fucked up my head and I wanted to call him an IDIOT. I was like – I can’t sketch my own eye while also crying. I am learning stuff. And then he continued with his seemingly philosophical shit. It pissed me off. I just looked at him and said – actually I can’t sketch when there are people around me. By then my sketch was about one-fifth done, and I was dreading every bit of it. I continued though, for the rest of the stupid hour, and then left for work.

I finished the sketch today while at work, but it’s lousy, and not wrinkly. There are very good reasons as to why I don’t like people around me when drawing. They annoy the hell out of me. I knew it was going to turn out badly, and not because I was not confident about myself, but because I could sense my own urge to finish it off just because I had started it. Plus I have this stupid presentation to give that is doing rounds in my head and dreams too. I should have just read a book or something.


Tear Drop

I realized that I should concentrate on just sketching for now. Totally resist painting. I kept my sketch materials in bag and decided that I would come straight to school after work and sketch. No wasting time, no thinking of painting. In the morning, I took out my sketch material; I don’t like sketching/painting in front of people. I then put it back in my bag. I want some good memories from the final days in school.

After coming to school, I took out the pad, and went to sleep, for three hours straight. Then I finally sketched without giving a flying fuck to anything around me. I wanted to progress a bit, and the artist has used water colours. I have by now learned layering, and without complaining, I sketched. A tidbit – one of my favourite instructors on YouTube went the same way about sketching as I had decided: start off with eyes, eyes, eyes, moving on to nose, mouth, etc. before beginning to draw complete human figures 😀


Baby, please stop crying
You know, I know the sun will always shine

Some more painting lessons

And I painted once again, this time on canvas.


I started off very well and it was absolutely amazing painting on canvas. But very soon I got carried away. I have to take it slow with layering in painting. Also, I got to buy painting papers. I am not happy at all with the paintings, but I am glad I painted twice today. I got to learn a lot. The day was not particularly good with me, not in terms of painting. Painting is what actually kept me going.

I am very tempted to buy colours for dry painting, but I have to resist myself. I will have to master first what I am trying to learn, with the resources I have.

When I sprayed the white with a brush, I had not allowed the painting to dry completely. Ergo, large dots. Also, I could see that it was getting sprayed on my softest throw too. But I did not stop. When I went to wash the brushes and looked at myself in the mirror, there were several white dots on my face.

I guess I will sketch on Wednesday, and then again on weekends.

Painting Lessons

Today I followed painting instructions, and this is the murk that turned out on a sorry piece of paper:


There are many reasons I am posting it. To begin with, one does not always have to post their best work. Also, I emailed one of my teachers, whose class was a stepping stone for me, in terms of painting. He is an excellent teacher, and I started to paint again in his class. I had to thank him. I know quite a bit about pedagogy, and I can attribute it only to him. Not many students realize the value of a good teacher, and not many students know what a truly good teacher is like. I may talk about it in detail some other day.

Here are the rest of my reasons, that I learned from painting today:

1. Layering in painting is a different ball game. I knew that my paper was not thick enough for the kind of layering that was needed, but I went ahead to test the waters. The botched result can especially be seen on top left. Also, the paper is curled up at all the edges.

2. Though painting can be more fun for some people that sketching, because of the fun you can have with colors and because of the magic that you can create, it is difficult and you need to keep in mind a lot of factors

3. Never be lazy with the water. When you are trying to create wash effects, DO NOT be lazy with the water. Change it every time for a new wash.

4. Do not sit on bed to paint. I had to immediately move to the floor, within 5 minutes, and forget about how cold it was. I could have avoided it had I prepared myself with a sheet instead of being lazy.

5. Have enough clean cloths and tissues so that you don’t spoil the painting with used ones

6. If you are planning to divert from the instructions, know what you are doing

7. Good brushes and colours of all shades and sizes are important

8. Have a good pad/easel. I was not even sitting when painting. Heck I don’t know why I don’t have an easel yet!

9. Keep expectations low with respect to how many paintings you are going to churn out. Concentrate on getting the job perfect, rather. I thought I would paint at least three paintings today. Above is my rushed effort.

10. Patience and practice. Patience and practice. Patience and practice.

11. A good paper, again

12. Repeat what you have learned. Verbally if it’s a sport. Or write it down. You become your own teacher.

I may paint another painting today. But I am a little exhausted. I don’t think I should be so soft on myself though. Let’s see.


My lead kit had arrived long ago. I sketched today, finally.


I like it, but I know I can learn more.

Here’s what I learned, either explicitly, or implicitly:

1. Layering
2. Importance of leads in sketching
3. Importance of attention to detail
4. Importance of finding out the right technique and using it skilfully
5. Knowing the difference between sloppiness and induced carelessness
6. Importance of patience
7. The feeling of completeness, that you don’t have to explain to anyone

I have always known these, but when you actually go out in the field, the experience teaches you a lot more. I guess I will sketch tomorrow too. I would love to paint, though.

Sand in Head

Time teaches. You learn to love a little more, the ones you used to hate.
Time limps as you learn to hate a little more, the ones you used to love.

Time walks like an old man. You learn a little more about the world, about life.
Time crawls and bugs buzz inside your head.

Time and distance, they teach you to care more
The sight of ticking clocks deafens you, and you don’t care.

Time passes and you learn to trust less, love less.
Time does not wait, and you keep looking for true love.

There is sand in your head, making it heavy.
Let it breeze through the webs of your fingers. Let it meet the air, water, and earth. Let it go, to where it belongs.

Honey, stop the time and ask yourself what you want, and what you need. It better be the same thing.
And then when you look at yourself in the mirror, you can look into your eyes. The hands of the clock will be still. You will live in the moment.

Madly MadMen

Spoiler alert, if you aren’t watching the finale already, and actually reading the review for season four with a spoiler alert.

I got to read and review an entire book within two days, as a part of my course work. But here I am, watching and reviewing the entire season four of Mad Men. It’s the epitome of drama. But that’s not my niggling need to write about it.

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce emerges and falls in this season. They aren’t monopolizing advertising anymore. Work consumes all the brilliant people working here, and they impress us with their devotion. If you had ever been married to your work, you will love these episodes to the bits. There have been days when my work has given me the sole purpose to carry on and look forward to something, and this season made some memories rush past.

Peggy Olson shines through, carving her way to the top with male chauvinists around her. She balances love and office, the way she would like it, and it is sheer fun to watch this cute little button do what she does. Don Draper blows your mind with how he tries to keep his feet steady and head straight. He tries to find some purpose outside of work, and how he does it can again evoke some memories, if you have been through such turmoils.

Roger and Joan get back for some more, and this was well-predicted. For a vain Roger, he can’t go back to his old withering ex-wife, nor deal with another child-like wife, who is no different than his own daughter. He is the best clown I have seen on TV. Child actress, Sally deserves cheek pulls and kisses and pats, with her surly mother moping around, and trying to get it all together. Yet failing, every time. Pete is a hidden diamond.

The night in office, between Peggy and Don, was my favorite. Hats off to the person who wrote the story, to the person who executed it, and to the actors, who played their roles.

Don’s struggle with his past and present, and meandering to set his life straight, is put out in a very deep yet credulous manner. Some things that Don says in his own head, stayed with me. I could be biased, but I can argue that I have felt very similarly many times.

Finally, he finds a wife for himself from among a lot of women, very impulsively. I have a strong feeling that Megan has caught him in her web, and married him not out of love. She does not give the right kind of vibe, for some reason. She could smell his vulnerability, I think. Any other woman would have been just fine.

Last thing to say, it’s not just about me relating with what happened with a lot of characters. All I am trying to say is that, it’s something that can happen. It plays its responsibility of showing the older times as it would have been. It shows the gender inequality just as it would be. It portrays everything just perfectly. It shows the ups and downs of life as it would be, and does not try to sell any BS to the viewer. To top it, the playlist is super. Some originals by David Carbonara, some covers, and other oldies just as they are – they all touch your soul.

Some of my favorite dialogues are the simplest ones, and actually Don’s thoughts, which would make them monologues. Unless you want to call them a dialogue between you and yourself. Anyway…

Summer’s coming. I could smell it.

I sound like a little girl, writing down what happened today.

A list of things I’d like to do: 1. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Go anywhere in Africa, actually. 2. Gain a modicum of control over the way I feel.

I like sleeping alone, stretching out like a skydiver, cool patches to hold on to. I should appreciate it more often.

When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him. He has a million reasons for being anywhere, just ask him.

Enjoy some good music – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psj2T8GSxfE&index=5&list=PL6p8LbpVclkSMQRZIpUJgw0234JC5sfJm