Love and Life

I talked to one of my closest friends after about 1.5 years. She has not been much happy in life. She told me never to get married, because marriage is all crap. We used to talk about life’s goals and a lot of other things, when together. She always used to say that she never really saw a goal in life, and went on with it, as it took her. She is amazingly talented and smart, and it broke me to see her like that. She was not married then. She finally gave in to the necessities of life as others deem it. Now, she has emerged out of it. She says she has a goal, and she knows what she wants. She asked me how life was, and I mis-typed – life is not easy, but it is easy. She really loved that line. I wanted to say – life is not easy, but I guess that’s the best part of life.

One of my other very close friends has told me almost the same thing – Never get married. Marriage is a sham.

My best friend got married recently. We used to say – boys will come, and boys will go, but you will always stay. Our relationship is rock solid. We are in boats sailing in the same current. We sit at the bank once in a while, to share stories. It’s been a while though.

My other best friend is in love, and I guess, lost too.

I talked to my family recently, and as I had expected, my bro broke the news about his girlfriend. My dad wants me to get married first. I told my dad that if he waited for me, my bro might never get married. I put it across very nicely though, so as not to exasperate him. I told him that he would be making my brother’s girlfriend wait too, and that would not be fair. She is really sweet, and I have met my bro’s ex-girlfriends. I had predicted his break-ups and been through his cry-baby turmoils, and this girl is really the best.

My roommate asks me to become a love cupid and wield some magic on the guy she likes. I tell her that I would not, even if I could do something stupid like that. She asks why. I ask her – have you watched The Arabian Nights? Sad thing is she never watched TV. Genie always used to tell Ali – fikar not, Ali! (Hindi for worry not, Ali). But three things that genie could never do were 1. Not kill anyone 2. Not bring back a dead to life 3. Not make anyone fall in love with him. Jasmine is hard-earned. So are his friends Genie, Iago, Kaalim, Abu.

Marriage in most probability got invented as an agreement to have a secure future, than as a sanctimonious beginning to love. People get married for all the wrong reasons. If I were to love someone, marrying or not marrying that person should not make a difference to me. Also, I should have the grace to accept only what is mine, or what I deserve. I have accepted what was not mine, many times before. I quit it afterwards. Every time. There’s just too much at stake.

That’s the thing about love. We think it works in mysterious ways. We think that it does not exist, and if it does it’s complex. The thing is, we want too much of love, and we forget all that we have around us. All we do is cause hurt. We see it where it does not exist. We miss it when it is right in front of us. We think that we need to be ready for it. We think that it can be controlled. It makes us do crazy things. It makes us jealous, free, happy, sad. It makes us do things we would never have imagined. It makes the heart squeeze out all the blood, it makes the hair on skin stand up. It makes the same skin callous. Love exists between a child and his father, between a brother and a sister, between friends, between lovers. It’s simple. You may plan all about your life. But you cannot plan shit about love.


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