I get dreams where my folks are trying to find a guy for me. When I get up I thank myself for not having gone to India, to meet them. When I look behind the doors, in dark, I see shapes of weirdly-shaped people hung to death. They are actually stuff like clothes, bags, hats, purses. I see dreams where my toothbrush is placed face down on the side of a wet sink. I get angry in my dream. Very angry. Who took the toothbrush from my room and kept it in the bathroom like that? A dream where I have to work on-campus Fridays too. Such other dreams. Then I actually look at the kitchen and sigh. There has been a broccoli floret in the sink, choking the water, for three days now. I cannot cook because there are many other things waiting to be cleaned and disposed and kept in place. The bathroom is dirty, and I am not getting into the details. I am trying to stay calm. Because I have a large to-do list to make, laundry to take care of, and many other things, which I can do not crib about for a change.
And then a jolt wakes me up. What am I doing worrying about these things? Of course I should, but not so much that other important things take a backseat. I want to write about many things – homosexuality, men vs women, love, education, etc. I have a wonderful job that I can make use of in my personal life too. I have to paint on canvas, and all the shells and stones that I have collected. I can make lots of time for myself this semester. It’s probably my final months as a student, and boy what a feeling it is to be a student! I am going to miss this, and my school too. I have to make the most of it. I want to brush up my French, start learning the sign language, and Spanish, practice harmonica. I want to get back to yoga. If I get a permanent job, I want to be ready to learn violin. I want to get a driver’s licence. One month of 2015 has already gone past me and I don’t think I have done much in that time (though I have watched a lot of good TV). Still, there’s eleven months to go!