Things change in a day…or so I thought…They actually change in moments 🙂
I walk. I talk. To myself. It is a liberating feeling, after all. To let go of things. Of people. Of something that you have held close to your heart dearly. I do not know how it can be liberating, but it is.
It is a hard, but somehow a calming realization. It screws my head when people say things like what is meant to be, is meant to be. Leaving things to fate, karma, etc. But it is probably true, may be in ways not related to fate, karma, etc. What is not meant to be, is not meant to be. What is meant to be, is meant to be. It is true in so many ways that are practical, that are more aligned with what we want, what others want, and not what fate or karma want.
It is not meant to be, because my understanding of the whole situation is different. Because I have lived and understood things differently. Because the other person has other priorities, and has a different understanding of things. Like I have said, even if everything is fair in love and war, love needs a “we” to win. Else, it is just not meant to be. For practical reasons, for no fault of anyone at all. It is a liberating feeling, to get your answers in ways that are meant to be. You ask a question looking at the north star, and the answers you get are echoes from the walls to your west. You cannot ignore them for too long. They are echoes, after all.
Here is what I had written years and years ago, and I am glad, that I always kind of had an understanding of such things:
What is it
Something is calling me toward it
I cannot see it;I cannot hear a bit
I can only somehow feel it;it’s far far away
Somewhere near the farthest bay
I don’t know the destination
I don’t know the cause or reason
All I know is that I have to reach there
Where this road ends I’m unaware
I don’t know to which sea joins this river
I don’t know to which village this wind brings winter
I don’t know where these grey clouds rain
I only know that I have to go with them, whatever the joy or pain
Before I wilt away with no power
Like the once wavering little flower
The unknown promises that the unknown place holds for me are tempting
far too tempting than the securities that my complacence is giving
I want to hug my future
I want to enjoy the unknown rapture