Days can be super interesting, or super boring. It’s how you look at it. And because I have to now consciously switch my thinking and attention from something, because I am outwardly jittery and inwardly calm (and sometimes vice versa), I have to find interesting happening within the boring.
So as always I drag myself out of the bed and leave my house within 15 min of waking up, with a bag, phone, jacket, purse, tiffin boxes, hairbands, smoothie cup, etc. all jutting out of my body, I kind of moan. I have been missing my ginger tea for two days, and that is NOT a good thing. NOT a good thing. Enough to set me off on a whiny mode with first world problems. Well, as long as I talk about them here it should be fine :p
Going back to trying to make things seem interesting, I observe. I look around and see why people do what they do. I become a hypocrite, because I try to understand human psyche, something that I think no one really has to do experiments on. Well, I do it to entertain myself. I guess that is what scientists do it for too. To keep the humankind entertained. I am no scientist, just doing some unwanted guesswork here. So yeah, I make it a game of sorts. I try to find out why someone did something. And then I sometimes do a guesswork. I tell myself – this is what is going to happen next. And bingo! It almost always is a right guess. I feel smug, satisfied, even if it is something that is not in my favour, something that should disturb me. It’s a trick I found out long ago, to help myself feel better in ugly situations, when people bother you with actions, you do not let them do that to you. You think of it as a game. People love playing games, and you love predicting the future of those games. Lovely! Innit? That is how you deny to be a part of any stupid human game.
So I observe how a girl in the online class uses her hands too much while speaking today, because she has worn a pretty orange colour on her nails. It is funny in the beginning, but then it starts annoying me, and I want to type to her – nice nails. But I resist. I notice how the Professor’s lips are redder after the break, and how her hair is differently done. She is a conscious lady, especially conscious about her hair. I predict my cab driver’s behaviour by looking at his demeanour, and he acts just the way I thought he would. Like it matters.
I observe people who should not matter. It gets boring after a point, when in the first place you started to observe them to kill your boredom. But it serves the bigger purpose. Of diverting attention. I want to be able to do that. Not bothered by something that is bothering me. Look at the bother straight in the eye, and face it. Not run away, but face it. By doing unwanted boring things 🙂
Have a good boring night, friends!