Past two days have been great. I had awesome conversations with two friends – a new friend and a very old one.
My first conversation was on the top-most open deck of a boat, in a dark drizzly night, with a friend who was sad that he was leaving and that we did not hang out often. We were cruising in the Atlantic. We talked about stuff like job, money, happiness, etc. His eyes kept going back to a guy who had a nice ass. He told me that he was an ass-person, and I told him I was a calves-person. We had a great time. Later he left, and I had one of the best alone moments of my life. I could not wish to be anywhere else, doing anything else. It was perfect. Not even almost perfect, just perfect.
My second conversation was with one of my best friends, who was my partner for most part of my life until now. I do not like the term ex. We are still very close to each other, and ex brings in the element of distance, parting. The term is probably more suited for people who cannot be friends with their previous partners, and think that it’s a bad idea to stay in touch with them. Anyway, we had one of the best conversations last night. He told me about a beautiful moment he shared with the woman in his life. It is all very complicated between them, but the moment that he shared, was simple. And utterly divine. He shared a beautiful story with me. I almost had tears in eyes, because I have only been watching love stories on TV for a long time, and listening to a true one, from someone who has experienced it, is utter joy. He knew I would know what it would mean like, and so he shared it with me. He could not contain his happiness. He later asked me about how things were with me, but could not understand most of what I was trying to tell him. In the beginning he was worried, but then later he understood, that it’s about feeling true love that not many people are lucky to feel. I do not have the person I love in my life, but I have experienced love like never before, because of him, and he probably does not even know that. My friend said that I was adjusting, by trying to say that I was content with everything in my life. Well, happiness and sadness are caused by external factors, mostly dependent on others. But contentment, it is something I have earned for myself, and no one can fuck with it. He found it difficult to decipher this, but eventually realized that things are good. It never is easy, and things can be messed up big time. But it’s all fine.
Here’s for the guy, who taught me what love can be like – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9BbUqHrWFI