Of the unborn

What if I become a mother? I always wonder this. What if?

I have never felt the need to have kids. A lot of people tell me that it sounds wrong, almost demonic, coming out of a woman’s mouth. I do not understand why they say that. 

But what if?

Love comes in different forms, sizes, shapes, colours, smells. In most cases, love between two people, both ways are supposed to be the same kind, of the same magnitude – between friends, between lovers, between siblings, etc. But a parent-child love relationship? Well, it’s quite complicated. 

A child feels security, comfort, embarrassment, resentment, guilt, gratitude, solace, indifference, when he sees his parent. A parent feels protective, restless, proud, forgiving, naive, giving, scared, pained, when he sees his child.

These are not etched feelings, but the point is, a parent-child relationship is complicated, within all its simplicity, unbreakable, within all its fragility, full of expectations, within all the unconditional love. To top it, the mother-father relationship acts as a big catalyst, further complicating the parent-child relationship.

If I have a child, my child will either love me, or hate me. Keeping aside the entity of father, I will never stop my child from doing anything. I will want him to run, fly, and swim, before he walks. I will want him to speak any language he can pick up, without letting him know about his hometown. I will want him to learn the world history, and carve out his own future.

Love will hold no barriers – he will know what heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, incestuous, etc. mean, only because these words exist in dictionary. When he comes to me and tells me about the person he loves, I will have only one statement to make – Love anyone, absolutely anyone, as long as you know what love means.

My child, you will either hate me, or love me 🙂

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