Self obsession

I look at myself in the mirror. The first thing I notice is my nose. Less a nose, more a tower. Eiffel tower. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be like. It’s supposed to shine. My nose always shines. I hate it when my nose shines, but still, it’s supposed to shine. I wonder what’s wrong with it. May be I should scrub it a little more the next time I wash my face.

Then I look at my hair. Why is it not curly, as it’s supposed to be? My hair can’t be straight, the way it is now. May be there’s too much static in the air. I use shampoo and conditioner that say something like “curls rock”. They are supposed to rock my curls, aren’t they? But I think they can’t work their magic when there’s too much static in the air.

I look at my eyes. They don’t look big now. I have fairly big eyes. But they are only half-open. And half-closed. Now. Which suggests that these days I am either very lazy, or very tired. I don’t know which of the two it is.

Then I just stare. I see the lines that are not there. I see the zits that are there. I see no smile. I see no frown. I don’t know if either of them has to be there. The face transforms, slowly. I see clear skin. Flying shiny hair. Laughing eyes. Pearly teeth. A sparkle in each eye. I see a little girl. She laughs and laughs. For no apparent reason. She looks so happy. I want to pick her up. Fling her in the sky. High up in the sky. Make up for all the time that I ignored her. Hurt her. I want to hear more and more of the peal of her infectious laughter. I want to love her.

PS: Look into the mirror a little longer than you do


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