Siesta thoughts – Man’s purpose (?)

I have realized, among a lot of other things, that one bloody lifetime is not enough to know and understand even one person closest to you. It never is enough. The best way to judge anyone is to do so by looking at their actions. But it certainly is not the right way. Sure, there is not any right way. Because what a person does, and what one interprets from it could be two very different things. How’d you know what’s on their mind? How’d you know if they’re really acting selfish? How’d you know if they’re really kind? How would you?
Yeah..Humankind..Psychology of human behaviour..Understanding human action..pff! I wonder how much humbug the world runs on. Really! How much!
Man has many weird and irritating habits. Irritating to the nature of nature. Man wants to, has to, prod everything. Dissect everything. Try to define everything. And kill everything. A lot of things (99%, my random estimate (paradoxcial, I know)) in this universe are unknown to humans, and will always remain so. This is a fact, and man can’t digest it. He wants to know. To whet his curiosity. He’ll take the delicate unknown in his untrained hands, prod it, divide it, cut it, observe its insides, interpret stuff, define them in his own words, and in the end exclaim that he’s had his Eureka moment. The delicate unknown is rotting now, and the man thinks he’s defined it. Why not, he’s wasted a lot of time on it. It has to have a fruitful outcome. Like an immature teenager, man declares that he knows exactly how the system works.
Man has tried defining the universe, human behaviour, the beginning of life, the purpose to life, God, and so much more. There’s no wonder that there’s not one perfect definition for any of these. The reason is, there can’t be, not for us humans. Because we will never know. Why can’t man just respect this fact and let things be? Why does he have to show-off by writing thesis, attending seminars, conducting futile experiments, trying to find proofs which are really works of a dead man and no one else (who was as ignorant as the man alive is)? Half the world runs on these things, on such humbug.
Let’s take some examples.
The size of this universe. Well, the universe is proven to be a limited space and there’s nothing like infinity. Proven? Bloody hell how? What’s beyond universe if it’s finite? Nothing? Could you please explain to me what ‘nothing’ looks like? Or are you running some crap experiment to find that as well? Does it look like red bricks outside universe? Or green moss? Or purple void? Crap! Thinking about it makes me want to scratch myself, pull my hair, scream. Infinitely big is too big to fit in a man’s brains, and infinitely small is too small to get registered even. Let the universe be, you moron.
The beginning of everything. Big bang is a funny theory, really. You say that’s what most certainly happened, because there’s enough proof, and because there’s no better theory. I’d love to take your side, my scientist man, but I’d love more to beg to differ. Because I don’t see any proof that fits with my way of logical thinking. I can’t get my head around it (I have read a lot of scientific proofs and theories, I swear). And I won’t say that Big Bang is what happened because it looks the best, the cutest. I will say – I don’t know what happened, and in most probability will never know. And I will rest assured that I really will never know.
The purpose to life. Why in the fucking hell would you want to define a common purpose for man? And what about the purpose of that rat scurrying under the table there? Are you going to define its purpose too? You buffoon, you have the freedom, the extremely beautiful freedom to create, to draw out your own purpose. Create it, live for it, as you live. Before you die. My purpose? I am not sure. I think it’s to be happy. And my goal, to have a no-strings-attached life. Well, it’s not easy, quite painful to get there. And I probably will never. But it’s fun. I don’t want to be a monk who really has some clear ulterior motive (paradoxical again, I know). Something like ‘heaven’ or ‘nirvana’ or whatever for a monk. I want to love, to be loved, to trot around, to look good, etc. I just want to limit the number of things and people that affect me. Bring it down to zero. Will life be fun after that? Don’t know, and anyway, it’s a very far-fetched goal. Enough about my purpose. My point is, no man can define a generalized purpose to humankind. He may exclude me if he’s ever successful in doing so. I have defined my purpose already, so thanks for being rudely considerate.
God. Oh-so-beloved God! There is a power, a something for which I don’t have a word, and will never have. Man has raped that concept of ‘something’. He has insulted it by trying to define it. Religions, holy books, places and idols of worship, theories, whatnot! Why can’t man just accept that knowing that ‘something’ is beyond him? Everything is working perfectly like a humongous machine, and man is trying to find out the creator of that machine. Man is a mere part of it, and his job is to do his job. Nothing more, nothing less. The religions and gods that he has created exist only in his mind, no where else.
And then I think – may be this is how it was always supposed to be. May be man was supposed to act utterly foolish, and he’s doing his job quite well.

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